This weekend was the best and the worst that I’ve had in months. It started with a girls night, wine, and Mean Girls … And it ended with family, friends, and hot apple cider. In between though? Insanity.
Saturday was was a busy day. I spent most the day with my mom, which is pretty much my favorite thing ever. Coffee, baking Christmas desserts for hours … And eventually joined by one of my brothers & my husband to ice cookies and see the lighting of the Kennedy Bridge. It was fun and magical. When it was all over? That’s where the heartache started. Things quieted down and I really just missed my dad. One of his favorite days of the year was the day we’d bake cookies, because he’d always come in and sneak some while we iced them. And when mom would tell him he couldn’t eat any until they were finished, unless they were broken … He’d sneakily break one so he could go “Oh! So this one is broken … Guess I have to eat this one!” I missed it. It’s not the same. I felt empty.
Waking up this morning, my heart hurt even more. I couldn’t sleep, so I watched the sun rise, and got out old pictures just so I could see his face. It’s weird to think that this is forever. It got even worse when we saw my in-laws this morning. Watching my husband talk to his dad, and later give him a call to confirm a trip they have been planning … That was hard. I couldn’t help but think about how I will never be able to do that again. I could live until I’m 95 years old, and never again will I be able to have a conversation with my dad, or just call him on the phone to see how he’s feeling. Never again.
I was exhausted, but I had had to pull myself together. My mom was having a Christmas get together shortly after, and I couldn’t show up a crying mess. So, we went with mom to a Live Nativity at her church that was full of jokes, laughter, a petting zoo, and obviously the Gospel … Definitely a good pick-me-up to hear about how much God loves us & how His Son came to save us. After that, it just kept getting better. Family and friends all met at moms afterward. So many smiles and stories … Oh, and fudge & cookies obviously! It was exactly the positivity and happiness that I needed for a night. Dad would have loved it.
It just really made me appreciate my circle. You know who you are & you hold me together. Especially my husband who does his best to keep up with me and be understanding. And to my mom for being the most amazing, strong person I’ve ever met.
Family is Everything.